Patently Absurd Warning Signs

Author image for Eric Lund
Eric Lund
Aug 31, 2020 1:00 PM EDT

We live in a world of many dangers, so many so that it requires terrifying signs that speak the language of fear. Some of these signs ride the line just between utter joke and serious business, and others are straight up creepy as hell. There are spooky signs out there that mean serious business.

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  • 01
    Material property - DANGER DO NOT TOUCH Not only will this kill you, It will hurt the whole time you are dying.
    via Fershnickered
  • 02
    Signage - WARNING IF FOUND HERE AT NIGHT YOU WILL BE FOUND HERE IN THE MORNING
    via Fershnickered
  • 03
    Text - NO CLIMBING ALLIGATORS LOVE KIDS em BUT THEY'RE HARD TO es. DIGEST SO PLEASE DO use NOT CLIMB ON THE BARRIERS OR WALLS
    via Fershnickered
  • 04
    Text - ATTENTION TRESPASSERS WILL BE BAPTIZED FREQUENT TRESPASSERS WILL BE SENT AWAY ON MISSION.
    via Fershnickered
  • 05
    Sign - 0310 AČAUTÍON 0-210 大 NO PEDESTRIANS
    via Fershnickered
  • 06
    Nature reserve - ΑΤΤΕΝΤΙΟN! If you become lost or confused in the corn maze, stay calm! Don't panic, help is on the way. Every Thursday morning we send a rescue team into the maze to bring out everyone left from the previous weekend. They are highly trained and can usually locate over two-thirds of those left behind.
    via Fershnickered
  • 07
    Signage - AWARNINGA TO AVOID INJURY DON'T TELL ME HOW TO DO MY JOB
    via Fershnickered
  • 08
    Sign - THIS RIDE 林 ONLY STOPS IN AN EMERGENCY. CRYING IS NOT AN EMERGENCY
    via Fershnickered
  • 09
    Text - If we die, we're taking you with us.
    via Fershnickered
  • 10
    Signage - WARNING FEED A PIGEON LOSE A FINGER ED THE BIRD Code SEC 486 M.P. Thank You! PIER 39 San Francises H PLEASE DON
    via Fershnickered
  • 11
    Nature reserve - THIS PROPERTY IS PROTECTED 24/7 BY SECURITY CAMERAS & 20 OR MORE WOLVES
    via Fershnickered
  • 12
    Street sign - SUICIDAL DEER NEXT 2 MI.
    via Fershnickered
  • 13
    Nature reserve - NO TRESPASSING WE'RE TIRED OF HIDING THE BODIES
    via Fershnickered
  • 14
    Motor vehicle - Please do not enter the dangerous area beyond this gate! You quite possibly will get hurt, then you will sue, then a protracted court battle will ensue exhausting your financial resources and you will lose because this sign that warned you will be "Exhibit 1".
    via Fershnickered
  • 15
    Font - UNATTENDED CHILDREN WILL BE GIVEN AN ENERGY DRINK AND TAUGHT TO SWEAR
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  • 16
    Signage - SUBURBRNE PARKING FOR GOUP SHACK GARAGE GUESTS ONLY VIOLATORS WILL DIE... EVENTUALLY
    via Fershnickered
  • 17
    Nature reserve - "Do not stand, sit, climb or lean on zoo fences. If you fall, animals could eat you and that might make them sick.
    via Fershnickered
  • 18
    Signage - BEWARE OF FALLING DEER: Leopards conceal their unfinished food in the tops of trees.
    via Fershnickered
  • 19
    Chain-link fencing - ZOO RULES THOSE WHO THROW OBJECTS AT THE CROCODILES/SNAKES WILL BE ASKED TO RETRIEVE THEM
    via Fershnickered

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Tags

warning jokes absurd signs lol silly threat dumb funny
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